The gift of forgiveness

"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you." [Ephesians 4:31-32]

Have you ever been hurt deeply by someone and struggled to move past the pain?

Do you feel bitter and resentful and unable to let go of an offense?

If so, you are not alone! Being wounded by others, is an inevitable part of life in a broken world. Forgiveness is not easy, or a one-time choice. It's a process that requires ongoing work and God's supernatural help.

If forgiveness feels impossible in the situation you are in, be honest with God, pour out your hurt to Him and invite Him into the messy process of forgiveness. He cares and He does understand. Forgive by faith, not feelings. Choose to release the hurt, and surrender the situation to God and pray for the person who has caused the hurt to you, ask God to bless them and to work in their life.

The funny thing about forgiveness is that it will never be without a cost. To forgive someone, is to pay close attention, to notice, to acknowledge just exactly how you felt wronged, and then, in spite of that knowledge, to choose to show that person grace. It is not about forgetting what happened or pretending it didn't hurt, it's a choice to respond in mercy, rather than revenge. In Jesus' own words, this idea is how He teaches us to pray:

 "and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors."

Jesus is the ultimate example of what forgiveness - real, grueling, costly forgiveness looks like. He forfeited pretty much everything you and I would cling to before forgiving someone: identity, security, love, safety and life itself.

How then, can we possibly understand what it means to forgive someone, if His cross is the standard of true forgiveness?

But God, through us can give us the strength and ability to forgive one another of even the cruelest of harms.

In Matthew 18:21-22, we read:

"Then Peter came up and said to Him, "LORD, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?" Jesus said to him, " I do not say to you seven times, but seventy seven times."

That is a lot of times to forgive someone! I don't know about you, but in my mind I cannot even begin to comprehend forgiving someone that many times, let alone once, when I feel wronged badly!

So why does Jesus require this measure of grace from us?

This number represents God's grace and unconditional love for us. Our Christian faith requires that we offer each other the unconditional love Jesus delivered to us. Just as our Heavenly Father has forgiven us for our sins repeatedly, we must emulate God's forgiveness of those who have hurt us.

Jesus was willing and able, to look at humankind's depravity with honesty. He often would rebuke someone for their sin, first naming how they had wronged God through their actions. But He wouldn't stop there! He would continue to also name their goodness, and give them instructions on how to seek forgiveness saying "go and sin no more."

It is important for us to understand, that forgiveness does not equate to an absence of accountability or consequences. Forgiveness is not merely about overlooking faults: it is a call to "go and sin no more." In response to the forgiveness we receive from God, we strive to do better. By acknowledging wrongdoing and making amends, we take essential steps for true healing and restoration. The choice to forgive is an act of strength, not defeat. It frees us from the burden of ongoing bitterness, and empowers us to live fully in the present, unchained from past grievances.

Forgiveness is a powerful act of love and obedience. It benefits us spiritually, by bringing us closer to God, mentally freeing us from the chains of resentment, and emotionally, enabling healing and peace. Embracing forgiveness, is not only a biblical command, but it is a pathway to a more fulfilling and harmonious life.

As we reflect, let us consider what it looks like to forgive ourselves and others. Let us focus on the gift that is Jesus' forgiveness, embracing it and sharing it with everyone we meet. May we live out the great mercy we have received, fostering peace and reconciliation in our daily interactions.