Miserable Comforters

"I have heard many things like these; you are miserable comforters, all of you!" [Job 16:2]

Poor Job suffered tremendous pain and loss. He lost all his belongings, all his sons and daughters and was afflicted with painful sores.

His friends came to comfort him, and although Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar may have had good intentions when they came to see Job, after all, they did show up and in silence, sat and grieved with him for seven days and nights. But they miserably failed to comfort their friend afterwards. The three assumed God must be punishing Job for unconfessed sin in his life and no matter how fervently Job declared his innocence, they refused to listen! In doing so, they combine ignorance with arrogance.

We endeavour to understand why bad things happen. Though we can sometimes speculate as to why something happened in someone's life, we lack the knowledge of God to be able to know for certain. Our understanding of events is limited, to state the obvious we are not God.

Such speculation presumes to know what only God knows.

Sometimes, in our suffering, we can think and say untrue things. In Job 3:3-10, Job declares that he wishes he had never been born. In Job 3:11, he asked why he hadn't died at birth. These words are strong, but as we listen to someone speak in the midst of their suffering, we should not be surprised if they think or say untrue things. Great suffering can rock our world at the deepest level.

Job's comforters did little to comfort their hurting friend. Job plainly told them:

"I also could speak like you, if you were in my place; I could make fine speeches against you and shake my head at you. But my mouth would encourage you; comfort from my lips would bring you relief." (Job 16:4-5)

To be with someone in their suffering is a gift. People who have suffered painful losses can feel abandoned by their friends. People stay away because they do not know what to say or how to help. Yet, if we avoid entering into suffering with another person, we miss out on an opportunity to love them as well. This ministry of presence, is a picture of us laying down our lives for others, as Jesus laid down his life for us.

How can we help?

We should listen carefully without judgement and pray for wisdom about whether to respond and what to say.

Sometimes, it's best not to say anything, just be present and offer love, kindness, compassion and practical help. When we are present with someone who is suffering, God can use our presence to lift their spirits and strengthen their resolve. In this way, we respond in the same way as our heavenly father responds in 2 Corinthians 1:3-4:

"Praise be to the God and Father of our LORD Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God."

Whatever someone's situation, we can assure the person suffering that God knows and cares. He is the "source of all comfort." He knows our pain and ministers to us at our point of need. As we heal, we learn how to minister to others.

Job's friends thought that troubles came because of a sinful life. We live in a broken world where we encounter trials and times of suffering, when that happens, we should not be a Job's comforter. Instead we should "give them the same comfort God has given us."

God bless